1. Complete the song lyric: "Up on the housetop the reindeer are really pigs"
2. There is a Latin song called "Adeste Fideles." What is it called in English?
Refried beans for Christmas
3. Who wrote the song "White Christmas?"
Some Columbian druglord
4. According to the carol, who "looked out on the Feet of Stephen?"
Some nasty fat whore
5. On the tenth day of Christmas, what did my true love give to me?
The clap
6. Who composed the "Nutcracker Suite?"
Liberace after a rough night
7. From what holiday song are the following lyrics?: "Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!"
Oh cum all ye faithful
8. What pair collaborated to write "Winter Wonderland?"
Ben Dover Ann Takeit
9. When "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" was composed for the "Nutcracker Suite," a newly invented instrument was used in its music. What was it?
A vibrating d*ldo
10. In the carol known as "The Friendly Beasts," the donkey carried Jesus' mother and the cow gave the child his manger. What did the doves provide for the baby Jesus?
His first meal of squab
11. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. After all, it doesn't show signs of stopping, and I brought some beer and hookers.
12. As the tune goes, what did Grandma get run over by?
Grampa's mistress making a mad getaway
13. "It came upon a midnight clear..." what did? (the next line)
Some over anxious teenager with a new bottle of lotion
14. A 1946 Nat King Cole recording sings: "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire; Jack Frost nipping at your nose." What is this song called?
Damn it is it Xmas already
15. According to the song, that jolly happy soul Frosty had a corn cob pipe, a button nose, and two eyes made out of coal. But what was his hat made of?
Probably purple velvet and a peacock feather with a zebra skin band