sandawg Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 DRAFTING Guys over 60 ... this is so funny & obviously written by a former soldier. New Direction for the war on terrorists. Send Service Vets over 60 I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing a$$ backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35. For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry." We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some a-hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while. An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, "I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-b*tch. If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at, and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sgt. in the "New army" now, "Get down and give me ... ER . one." Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pissed-off old farts with 'attitude' and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night! Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertskyz Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 Don't go gettin' in a rush to polish up your muzzle loader. Cranky ole fart. jus' messin' wit ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bp-guy Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 (edited) If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night! I would like to see that... Most 60 year olds that come out to help us are all asleep by noon taking their geratol pills and prune juice. But I do give them credit. They do what alot of other people turn their backs to because it doesn't effect them directly. Edited April 14, 2009 by bp-guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandawg Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night! I would like to see that... Most 60 year olds that come out to help us are all asleep by noon taking their geratol pills and prune juice. But I do give them credit. They do what alot of other people turn their backs to because it doesn't effect them directly. Thought about you before I posted that. I'd rather go to Iraq than the damn border myself!!!! Just thought the whole thing was cute!!!Your guys trained our S.A.R. team in tracking!!!!I still wear my BP hat with pride! On the Baker to Vegas run the suport car for the BP team saw my hat as a spectator and screamed "NICE HAT"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bp-guy Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 (edited) I knew you meant the OTHER borders in that post. But the US/MEXICO border is alot closer to sent to 60 year old guys..and they actually have had an impact here. If you ever wear that hat out let me know and I will get you another, Thanks for the support! Edited April 14, 2009 by bp-guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandawg Posted April 14, 2009 Author Share Posted April 14, 2009 I knew you meant the OTHER borders in that post. But the US/MEXICO border is alot closer to sent to 60 year old guys..and they actually have had an impact here. If you ever wear that hat out let me know and I will get you another, Thanks for the support! You got it.....thanks. Used to carry it with me when I was still working and occationally put it on before I went on to a New Home Tract while under construction. Should have seen the dust cloud before I even got out of the car!!! didn't do too often cause my customers said it took them hours to round up their crews!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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