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Billy Mays dead


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I saw this on gd.com, so I borrowed it......some good one's in here!!!!

1. You know those guys who can sell ice to the Eskimos? Well Billy Mays sells ice to THOSE guys.

2. When Billy Mays asks a clerk to break a $20 bill, he gets two $50s back.

3. Billy Mays fired The Donald. In pre-production.

4. Billy Mays can make Simon Cowell cry tears of beauty.

5. Billy Mays interrupted Bill O'Reilly once, causing O'Reilly to profusely apologize for talking out of turn.

6. Chuck Norris once tried to roundhouse kick Billy Mays. Before his foot even left the ground, Chuck was already on his first of three easy payments of $29.95.

7. The GDP of Billy Mays is greater than the entire European Union. Before the recession.

8. In 2006, a man in Arkansas accidentally hit the bass boost button on his home theater remote during a Billy Mays infomercial. We only know this because last December, a team of forensic experts dressed in radiation-proof suits had finished their meticulous examination of the blast crater.

9. Narwhals wash their tusks with OxiClean.

10. Billy Mays attributes the power of his on-screen persona to an incident during his teenage years when he accidentally ingested a Caps Lock key from an IBM PS/2 keyboard.

11. Billy Mays talked Lindsay Lohan into playing for the other team.

12. A Nigerian scammer once emailed Billy Mays. He is now on his 400th package of Mighty Putty.

13. Chuck Norris and Billy Mays once had a beard-off. The winner was to get a bucket of OxiClean, and the loser's penalty was to perform in an ultra-neocon radio show.

14. Vin Diesel waxes his head with Liquid Diamond.

15. Billy Mays sold a lifetime of pity and a warehouse full of fools to Mr. T.

16. Mr. T once tried to throw Billy Mays. Instead of grabbing Billy, however, Mr. T found only a bucket of OxiClean in his hands. He immediately sought atonement through cleaning his gold chains.

17. After hearing a Billy Mays infomercial, R. Lee Ermey reconsidered his own personal commitment to perpetually yelling.

18. Billy Mays was the chief component of President Obama's 2009 stimulus package until the Republicans demanded he be replaced with tax cuts for the stinking rich. Billy made out just as well.

19. If you act now... hahaha, just kidding! Only Billy Mays has the power to compel you to act now.

20. Not only did Billy Mays sell ice to the Eskimos, he also sold them the extended warranty.

21. Billy Mays once sold pain to Chuck Norris.

22. Joe Piscopo tried to outsell Billy Mays once. ONCE.

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Well after all he was the greatest musician on the face of the earth. The mostest bestest entertainer ever to have lived. We should all have been bowing down to him being that we're all just insignificant little fleas and whatnot.

I mean according to smokin flunkie junkie and all, you know. I figure Mr. Mays sold the junkster his life size blow up doll of the Micheal to place in the shrine room right below the velvet Elvis poster.

Atleast Mr. Mays didn't go to his grave broke from paying off the families of little Honduran victims...

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Well after all he was the greatest musician on the face of the earth. The mostest bestest entertainer ever to have lived. We should all have been bowing down to him being that we're all just insignificant little fleas and whatnot.

I mean according to smokin flunkie junkie and all, you know. I figure Mr. Mays sold the junkster his life size blow up doll of the Micheal to place in the shrine room right below the velvet Elvis poster.

Atleast Mr. Mays didn't go to his grave broke from paying off the families of little Honduran victims...

hilarious, you're such a tool. just because you're inferior, don't hate me because i'm not.. hate me because i'm beautiful! =)~

all fun aside, RIP billy mays. his infomercials did kind of annoy me but he must've been very effective, and that's all that matters. he was very good at what he did.

there ya go, "ace." go ahead and knock him, and me too for complimenting billy mays on his talent, and offering my respects in his passing. after all, you have nothing more to offer to the dune forum community, apparently. idiot. heh.

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Nope, not knocking him at all. Have never seen him in action that I know of. Just sounds like a great salesman from what others are saying. I just figured thta with your little love affair with the Micheal that maybe you idolized this fella too. I could be wrong.

Just curious as I'm way out of date with you kids nowadays being as to how I don't text and all of that silliness, what exactly is this "heh" deal that you end your sentences with? Is that your signature or is it an acronym for something or another? Never seen that before so you had me wondering...

Don't know why I have to be an idiot, weren't you the one professing that we all should be able to carry on a debate over on the other thread? Didn't know it took name calling in light of facts.

One of you twentysomethings care to enlighten me on the whole "heh" thing please.

Appreciate it. Just trying to keep up with the times.

Ace

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Can maybe a teenager explain then what this whole "heh" thing is all about then since the twentysomethings aren't privy to it yet? Inquiring minds want to know.

No name calling Prez, keeping it civil from this end.

Curious how Mr. Junkie assumed that I have nothing to offer the dune forum community just because I don't share his enthusiasm for a child molester? Anyway, this thread is about Willie Mays, and this crazy little thing called "heh" that some of us seniors are curious about...

Good day.

Edited by aceisback
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i'm glad you asked. the "heh" is sort of similar to a "hah", you know, when you read something funny and you blurt out an abbreviated laughter. no name calling? sweet! i think this debate has been traumatizing for you, perhaps i'm verbally annihilating you via the internet. awesome. or maybe you should refer to post #12, paragraph 1 of this thread.. you can't dish it like i can.

this thirty something finds your anger hilarious, it brings me joy. it's very entertaining. listen brother, i'm not mad at you at all, it's all good by me. but the trees and plants and all things green are mad at you for wasting the precious oxygen they produce.

oh, and willie mays (the great baseball player) is still alive. have a good week. =)~

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hmm i feel a good halloween costume coming on here....blue shirt, tan pants, the hair the beard, all pretty easy.

"HI...Billy Mays here for the halloween mighty bag!"..."do you have a rediculous mount of candy that you cant get rid of fast enough?" "then you should try the all new halloween mighty bag!" "the bag you just cant fill!" the halloween mighty bag holds pounds and pounds of halloween candy, enough candy to send a small country in diabetic coma!" "the halloween mighty bag is by far the best candy carrying device on the market today!" "made from high density polybuytlstyrenevinylbicarbonite, the mighty bag can withstand the stress and abuse that can come with begging for food door-to-door!" "dont miss your opprotunity to own the halloween mighty bag today!"

:porn:

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i think this debate has been traumatizing for you, perhaps i'm verbally annihilating you via the internet. awesome.

this thirty something finds your anger hilarious, it brings me joy. it's very entertaining.

Traumitizing??? Cars turning left in front of you while cruising down the highway on a motorcycle is traumitizing. :ah:

Verbal annihilation via the internet! :porn: :lol: Now there's something your grandkids will get a kick out of around the old rocking chair. They're gonna be so proud. :beat:

Me angry? Shiatt, everyday I awake to see a sunrise I am glad to be alive. Strokes and open heart surgery will make you appreciate some of the smaller details as we travel through life. :old: Someone who doesn't see eye to eye with me over the internet only makes me proud to have given 20+ years of my life to the good old US of A that we can even have such a privilege as to play around on our computers. Ask some of the folks over in China or North Korea if they would appreciate the same liberties. :thumb:

If thinking you affect my attitude/moods/outlook brings you such joy then I'm glad I could help out. After all a smile a day keeps the doctor away. :MBdance:

Only thing that truely does make me angry is this Borat Osama character taking my hard earned retirement pay and giving it to some damn crack head's baby's mama with 7 kids from 19 different fathers. :beatdeadhorse: Basically if you ain't affecting this fleas paycheck it don't matter to me. I'm just a small town white boy trying to make ends meet. :MBdance:

Thirtysomething??? :beatdeadhorse: Who woulda guessed it? :MBdance:

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i just found out why Billy Mays was always so loud..

at age 11 he accidently swallowed the Caps Lock button.

We lost Ed McMahon, Farah Faucet, and Jacko and they say they always happen in threes. Billy Mays said he would throw in an extra one for free!!!

Edited by RAGDOLL MX
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