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Coles Corner: useless posts for when you're bored


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Did you know it is possible to lead a cow upstairs........but not downstairs.

A ducks quack doesn't echo.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

:beatdeadhorse::dunno::laughing:

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Nevada Crazy Law

It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.

It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

Clark County

An ordinance makes bringing a concealable fire arm into the county illegal unless it is registered with the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department. In order to register a handgun, however, it must be brought in to the police station. Furthermore, you may not register a gun on the weekends, but the police may prosecute you at that time.

Elko

Everyone walking the streets is required to wear a mask.

Eureka

Men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.

Nyala

A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day

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and for those of you in Kalifornia

California Crazy Law

Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!

Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.

Bathhouses are against the law.

In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs.

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

Women may not drive in a house coat.

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

Arcadia

Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.

Alhambra

You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.

Baldwin Park

Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

Belvedere

City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."

Blythe

You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.

Burlingame

It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.

Carmel

Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor)

Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.

Chico

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.

Downey

It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995).

Hollywood

It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.

Lafayette

You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.

Lodi

It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".

Lompoc

It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.

Long Beach

It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.

Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.

Los Angeles

Toads may not be licked.

You may not hunt moths under a street light.

It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.

You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.

Zoot suits are prohibited.

It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.

It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.

Ontario

Roosters may not crow in the city limits.

Pacific Grove

Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.

Palm Springs

It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.

Pasadena

It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.

Prunedale

Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.

Redlands

Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.

Riverside

One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.

San Diego

The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.

It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar.

San Francisco

Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.

Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash.

It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.

It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.

San Jose

It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7.08.595

Santa Monica

You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.

Temecula

Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times.

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and for those of you in Kalifornia

.

Chico

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.

Thats all.......500 bucks, not bad.....................what about sobe bombs

Edited by vegas400ex
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Stress Management Technique

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management

technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The

funny thing is that it really does work.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out

over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running

water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world

6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a

cascade

of serenity.

7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face

of the person you are holding underwater.

See? It really does work. You're smiling already.

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UNBELIEVABLE MATH PROBLEM

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you.

Personally I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is

not running the country.

Grab a calculator. (You won't be able to do this one in your head)

1. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code)

2. Multiply by 80

3. Add 1

4. Multiply by 250

5. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number

6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.

7. Subtract 250

8. Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the answer??

--

-Houston Blackwell

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Wisdom From Larry The Cable Guy

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Ra ise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your a$$ tomorrow.

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Hey pete after 9 pages i just notcied this , do u need ur a$$ whooped ? :laughoff:

:stick_smack::laughoff: Dude that was back in DECEMBER and your just now reading it? :happydrunks:

And to answer your question, do I need my a$$ whooped?...no...I'm all set. Thanks though! :laughoff::think::flipoff:

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http://emuse.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/22016

Ouch! :stick_smack:

Read some of those comments. Some people thought it was his eyeball that popped out :happydrunks: , but it looks to me like it was definitely his drumstick that broke and impailed his cheek! :flipoff::laughoff:

Yeah it was his drumstick, we played it over and over and you can see the one in "his" right hand break then he drops it and puts the one from his left had in his right hand, then grabs the piece that is in his face.

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