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Coles Corner: useless posts for when you're bored


RAGDOLL MX
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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an ###### and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it.

Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

A. About three inches.

Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?

A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A. They don't have balls to scratch.

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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?

A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?

A. Having an ###### and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?

A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?

A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick.

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?

A. Because it's worth it.

Q. What is a Yankee?

A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?

A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?

A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"?

A. About three inches.

Q. Why do Gay men wear ribbed condoms?

A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?

A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?

A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A. They don't have balls to scratch.

:thumb:

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My halloween joke a day late.

Why don't witch's wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip on their Broom!

Sorry Cole, should have put it under the Joke of the day, but I'm still bored.

Edited by BALL-N-CHAIN
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ok....you got to watch this....its stupid...but it takes a while for something "Special" to happen...iam not going to tell you what it is or how long it will be...but it is well worth it!!!!

http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/

ok iam in just one of those moods......

i think its the percocet......

http://members.visi.net/~mtoscano/cr...whiteblack.swf

for you "Hoff" fans

http://www.youthofbritain.com/chicks/

for those moment you want to just scream...send this to someone....

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/foxes

Edited by RAGDOLL MX
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Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?

Ready? GO!!!

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are

absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Now answer the second question,

but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

(scroll down)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?

You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only.

Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30.

Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000

Now add 10. What is the total?

Scroll down for answer.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it?

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,

4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu?

NO! Of course it isn't.

Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By

imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully

expresses himself to the shopkeeper and! the purchase is

done.

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of

sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He just has to open his mouth and ask...

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