sand chick Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 (edited) Ok Ok I'll play fair Fifteen reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives: The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. A dog's parents never visit. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?" If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck. And last, but not least: 15. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff. First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden. Then he said to himself, "There's something he's needing" After casting about for a suitable pearl, He kept messing around and created a girl. Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender, Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender. Two lovely hips to increase his desire, And rounded and firm to bring out the fire. Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you, And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you. Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder, And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder. 'Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing ... Then he added a mouth, and ruined the whole damn thing. Edited July 13, 2007 by buggychick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HI_DESERT_DDR Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 Here is the top 10 reasons men are better than women. Sorry its so long but I had to do it. 10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their freakin mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers. 9. Men are not sponges Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a freakin cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not. 8. Women are racists Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life. 7. Men live less than women The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of crap. Congratulations women. You really earned those rights! 6. Men write illegibly Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a darn about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space. 5. Jesus was a man Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of anything. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women. 4. Men wear watches Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man a$$ kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored. A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man a$$ and take care of your man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important stuff is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a fastidious manner, so get ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke. 3. Boys destroy things The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. That’s awesome! 2. Marriage is stupid Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to do the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat a$$es French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t do. Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re freakin obsessed with it. Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with. 1. Men have penises When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penus — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t screw up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be courteous.’ Men Are Better Than Women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertskyz Posted July 13, 2007 Share Posted July 13, 2007 1. Men have penises Men Aren't Better Than Women. Because that was the right sized place to put your brain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 you guy's are getting bruttle now I was trying to get onto a differnt topic of the differnces between men and women other than discussing how Danielle feels about squating outside i didn't think that it was going to go to bashing men and woman apart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sand chick Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 yeah but its all in fun and games Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 (edited) yeah but its all in fun and games Oh I know! but i do enjoy the conversations like..... Why men don't shave and woman have to????? Why men have such problems with asking for directions???? Why men take there socks off and leave them rolled up in a ball???Do they think there is a little man inside the washing machine that is going to pull it apart inside or do they really think us woman enjoy sticking our hands in there sweaty,fungis socks??? Why do men think that when you are telling them something that you are doing, it was like the first time they ever heard it as if we are nuts and never said it before? But woman remember everything!!! I can list many more... Edited July 14, 2007 by Danielle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegas style Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 i knew i would find dani having the last post of the day..... not! im up late try again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 i knew i would find dani having the last post of the day..... not! im up late try again But I am up earlier than you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sand chick Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 Oh I know! but i do enjoy the conversations like..... Why men don't shave and woman have to????? Why men have such problems with asking for directions???? Why men take there socks off and leave them rolled up in a ball???Do they think there is a little man inside the washing machine that is going to pull it apart inside or do they really think us woman enjoy sticking our hands in there sweaty,fungis socks??? Why do men think that when you are telling them something that you are doing, it was like the first time they ever heard it as if we are nuts and never said it before? But woman remember everything!!! I can list many more... If you REALLY want to know the answer to that one. Bob can tell you some stories from when he was stationed in Norway. Them gals are hairier then Bigfoot, at least according to him..... I am soo glad we shave as women here......well at least most of us. I don't know I think if given the choice between Mr.Cheese's lumpy butts and the hairy women.........I'd rather squat to pee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bad4fiddy Posted July 14, 2007 Share Posted July 14, 2007 All i gotta say is dont trust anything that bleed's for a week and doesnt die Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 All i gotta say is dont trust anything that bleed's for a week and doesnt die Men get there once a month cycle they just don't bleed...It is a proven fact by there moods. Hubby's going through it right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegas style Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 and you still cant have the last word........................ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 and you still cant have the last word........................ No you didn't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redswr Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 i got the last word!!!! umm.... what are we talking about? i just got here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegas style Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 and yes i do!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxysandchick Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 Some of you are up pretty late Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegas style Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 some nights its like that..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 some nights its like that..... But once again I am up before you are Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegas style Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 not realy i have been on for awhile just didnt need to update the last word tell now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 not realy i have been on for awhile just didnt need to update the last word tell now Differnces between men and woman...... Woman Alway's get the last word!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegas style Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 i can see it now im going to come in for a hair cut and end up with "word" buzzed into the back of my head Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 i can see it now im going to come in for a hair cut and end up with "word" buzzed into the back of my head No you are not...you have my name on you head which is advertisement for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegas style Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 so it will say DANI? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 so it will say DANI? No ding dong I can't screw your hair up because than people would ask who that heck did that and I would loose customers.You see if your haircut looks good than you are walking advertisement for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegas style Posted July 15, 2007 Share Posted July 15, 2007 your easy to mess with Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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