SAND~~SNAKE Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I have a 17 1/2 year old slob more like a pig. His bedroom is disgusting, as well as his bathroom,car, and every where he spends more that 5 seconds at at time, He lives on the OTHER HALF of my house and I have come to realize I can not change his disgusting habbits, 6 more months and my hell is over is what I have told myself. However he works full time and goes to school full time and my only goals for him at this point is to finish high school which has been a difficult struggle and get the f#ck out of my house! (he plans on going into the military) Anyway I have become so angry with him that I want to the sh*t out of him. To me it is pretty embassaring to have company over to find the central part of MY HOUSE to be dirty ...meaning the kitchen dirty dishes in the sink and on the counters that came from his bed room that have mold and other things growing in my dishes because they have been in his room that long, bread crums and chips left on the counters, milk left on my kitchen table from him eating breakfest, mayo on the cabniet knobs, spaghetti suace exploded in the microwave. I have had it....enough is enough. So last night I type up a note and post it in the kitchen this is what it says..... NEW RULES IF YOU USE DISHES, A GLASS, SPOON,KNIFE,PLATE WHAT EVER YOU WILL WASH IT AS SOON AS YOU ARE DONE WITH IT! IF I FIND ONE GLASS, PLATE OR ANY DISHES IN YOUR BEDROOM YOU WILL HAVE BROKEN MY RULES. ALSO IF YOU MAKE FOOD YOU WILL CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR SELF. YOU WILL WHIPE THE COUNTERS OFF, IF YOU EAT AT TABLE YOU WILL WHIPE IT DOWN WHEN YOU ARE DONE AND NOT ON THE FLOOR. IF YOU DO NOT TO STOP BEING A PIG I WILL NO LONGER BY FOOD OR DRINKS AND TOP RAMEN AND WATER IS WHAT YOU WILL HAVE TO SURVIVE ON! I WILL NOT LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE KAMERON! So when I get home from work tonight I find a tupperware container w/ left over smelly tuna in it right under my note...which I consider that to say fk YOU DAD. The state says I have to provide food and water to a child or anything less is considered child neglect. I was going to empty the cubards of food, lock the food into my bedroom and place a chain and lock across the fridge doors and leave out a gallon of dringing water, a case of top ramen and a bottle of multi vitimans :gayboy: I guess I am asking if any one has any suggestions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ynot Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Sounds like you have it covered! Is it your car or his? I guess you can start taking things away from him but then that interferes with his school. The military will straighten him out if he lives that long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ltr450rider Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I turned out to be one of the freaks of the world because I am a very clean person. Probably got some of my moms "OCD" genes. But for as long as I can remember, whenever I left a dish in the living room, or a dirty dish in the sink, It would end up in my bed. That only happened a few times but damn did I learn from it. I never recieved an "Allowance", I was told if I did my chores I got a bed under my a$$ and I could eat the dinner that someone made insted of having to starve or make it myself, usally the first. I'm only 21, but I have been forced to be a clean person as long as I have been alive. My parents were tough and harsh and at times I wanted to go to social services and say I was abused just so I could go live somewhere else. But for the last 4 years I understand why they were so harsh and I truely appreciate it. Especially whenever I went over to a friends house and saw the disgusting mess they lived in. Don't be afraid to let him know YOU are the parent and he lives in YOUR house. Put the fear of "God" into him, let him know who's boss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegas style Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 invite a drill Sergeant over for dinner...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ash Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 My Mother signed my military papers when I was 17 and still in highschool. They will take care of the diploma. If that's not an option, then take the vehicle away. Take every single thing he *YOU* own, cause unless he paid for it, then it's yours. My Son decided one day that he was gonna be the BIG man and test my patience. So I went into his room, while he sat there and watched and I took everything out of his room except his clothes and the bed. I even took the bed frame. That opened his eyes to a lot of things. Don't give up on your kids. They are, afterall, your children. The military will straighten his a$$ right up. But push for the Marine Corp. Get in good with the recruiter and let him know what's been going on and see if he will ship him out to Paris Island for boot camp during the summer months. But your ideas are spot on! No child runs the house, it's our house and they just sleep there. You are the king of the castle and don't forget it. Whatever you do, IMO, don't get into a match with him, cause the law is on their side, not ours. Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trqjnky Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 can the bus take him to school? i dont have a teenager, but not long ago was one.. kind of a pain in the a$$ too. make him ride the bus no more cable tv in his room take all plates/silverware bowls away or lock them up, leave only paper plates/bowls/plastic cups and forks for him to use that he can just throw away.. take everything away from him, leave him a couple pair of walmart brand jeans and tshirts, a cot, tube socks and make him earn stuff back..... trust me it works, he wont want to wear that stuff for long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randog Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I guess I am asking if any one has any suggestions I don't have kids (yet), but It's got to be tough. :gayboy: I feel for ya mang. I remember what my parents went through with each of my brothers. Not me though. lol . . . Tell you what Jim, Load up your trailer, and head out with us next weekend to D. :chug: At least it would take your mind off the situation. 3 days closer to the 18 years. :chug: R- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dune Cruzer Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 you spelled "wipe" wrong, it's not "whipe"...lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 My Mother signed my military papers when I was 17 and still in highschool. They will take care of the diploma. If that's not an option, then take the vehicle away. Take every single thing he *YOU* own, cause unless he paid for it, then it's yours. My Son decided one day that he was gonna be the BIG man and test my patience. So I went into his room, while he sat there and watched and I took everything out of his room except his clothes and the bed. I even took the bed frame. That opened his eyes to a lot of things. Don't give up on your kids. They are, afterall, your children. The military will straighten his a$$ right up. But push for the Marine Corp. Get in good with the recruiter and let him know what's been going on and see if he will ship him out to Paris Island for boot camp during the summer months. But your ideas are spot on! No child runs the house, it's our house and they just sleep there. You are the king of the castle and don't forget it. Whatever you do, IMO, don't get into a match with him, cause the law is on their side, not ours. Good luck can the bus take him to school? i dont have a teenager, but not long ago was one.. kind of a pain in the a$$ too. make him ride the bus no more cable tv in his room take all plates/silverware bowls away or lock them up, leave only paper plates/bowls/plastic cups and forks for him to use that he can just throw away.. take everything away from him, leave him a couple pair of walmart brand jeans and tshirts, a cot, tube socks and make him earn stuff back..... trust me it works, he wont want to wear that stuff for long. I agree with the above,except it might be hard to take away his clothes if he works and purchases them himself. Skylar has been pretty close to all of the above at 12 years old.But if I had to do it those would be my choices. 1.You can also take all the dishes he leaves in the kitchen or anywhere else and place them in his bathroom sink and bathtub.But I also do like the bed idea. :gayboy: 1.I know this would be really gross and dirty but take the trash can from the kitchen and dump it on his bed and when he flips out and say's everything you know he will say.Let him no that if he chooses to leave your house looking like a pig pen than he chooses to sleep in it as well . 2.And lock the laundry detergent in your room where he wont be able to wash his clothes for a week or so. I have already done that one to Skylar for constantly putting clean clothes in the dirty laundry that were just washed and took all her other clothes out of her room where she only had the same dirty clothes to wear for a week.She is now 95% better at it. The rule in my house is if you leave it lying around and I have to ask you more than 1 time to pick it up it goes in the trash,don't care what it is.I have thrown alot of things away. I feel for you but your time is almost done as for us we still have a long way to go with three young kids Wish you the best of luck.Take some advice from the above people and see if any work.The note thing wont cut with a teenager.You have to take action and show them you mean business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitcat Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 (edited) My parents used to do all kinds of things to my sister, when she was a teenager. Every once in a while, she'd take a Hefty bag and gather all my sister's stuff she left on the floor of her room and hide it somewhere (like the attic) or even throw it away. One time, my mom got about 4 rolls of toilet paper and TP'd her room, while my sis was in school - that was hilarious! My dad is an old car fanatic and used to take parts of her car's engine out, so she couldn't drive it (to parties and weekend events, if she was grounded). I wasn't a perfect angel either, but I learned to obey the rules most of the time!!! Edited November 30, 2007 by Kitcat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandassassin Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I was in the same situation as you so I followed the state guide lines the first thing I did was remove all electronics such as T.V., Stereos ,phones ,game consoles. I locked it all up next thing put a keyd deadbolt lock on your bedroom, keep the only T.V., and phone in there. Next remove all of the non perishable food from the cupboards lock it up so only you have access to it now lock the refrigerator put in a small refrigerator in the garage stock it with bread baloney fruit and water. Laeve only 1 plate 1 glass 1 set of utensils. Next buy the cheapest soap shampoo and toothpaste money can buy. Last but not least remove everything I mean everything!!!!!!!!! from his room except his clothes and bedding even remove the door. Do not wash his clothes either!!!!!!!!!. YOU HAVE NOT VIOLATED STATE GUIDE LINES BY DOING THIS. This will really PI$$ him off but it will also show him that you will not let him take advantage of you. If he says anything about it tell him that this is all the state requires you to do and if he doesn't like it GET THE HELL OUT NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. This may seem drastic but children need to appreciate how much their parents do for them. GOOD LUCK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxysandchick Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 My mom was really strict with me and my older sister when we were growing up and now has 2 out of control teenagers, don't know why she doesn't do anything to control them other than she gave up :chug: . All the stuff above is great, but you already had the answers, the hard part is following through on your part. So basically take everything and provide nothing but the basics, tough it out for a few months then you will have the house all to yourself . Just 1 more thing, don't allow him to have any company over. Also do not get angry , do not argue :rant_on: and do not allow him to raise his voice to you. Oh and there is lots of room at my house if you need some place to store all his stuff . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Cheese Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 my parents never allowed us to eat in our rooms. When we ate, it had to be in the kitchen. All of our meals were family sit down looking back, my mom and dad, even though i got hot at them (i was a punk azzed teen) they taught me how to be an adult pretty damn good THANKS MOM AND DAD Good luck with the scenario Jim (and thanks again for the electrical tape!!!) there is a lot of good advice given above!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barefoot bob Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 you are describing my life with my 18 year old :rant_on: i have no advicw as i am in the same boat. just wanted you to know im in the same boat your not alone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EY3BA11 Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Could always be like my parents... Clean your sh*t or get the fug out... my roof my rulez dont like it leave!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~JILL~ Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 (edited) I was in the same situation as you so I followed the state guide lines the first thing I did was remove all electronics such as T.V., Stereos ,phones ,game consoles. I locked it all up next thing put a keyd deadbolt lock on your bedroom, keep the only T.V., and phone in there. Next remove all of the non perishable food from the cupboards lock it up so only you have access to it now lock the refrigerator put in a small refrigerator in the garage stock it with bread baloney fruit and water. Laeve only 1 plate 1 glass 1 set of utensils. Next buy the cheapest soap shampoo and toothpaste money can buy. Last but not least remove everything I mean everything!!!!!!!!! from his room except his clothes and bedding even remove the door. Do not wash his clothes either!!!!!!!!!. YOU HAVE NOT VIOLATED STATE GUIDE LINES BY DOING THIS. This will really PI$$ him off but it will also show him that you will not let him take advantage of you. If he says anything about it tell him that this is all the state requires you to do and if he doesn't like it GET THE HELL OUT NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. This may seem drastic but children need to appreciate how much their parents do for them. GOOD LUCK If I didn't know better, I'd think you are one of mine. I did all that and a few more. They leave food lying around I'd put it under the covers in their bed. When they would get into bed at night YUCK! They did their own laundry too. Didn't get their laundry done I guess you stink. My son used to wear long sleave shirts to school I made him learn how to iron. They are now 24 and 27, turned out pretty good. NOW IT'S THEIR TURN TO BE PARENTS!!!!!!! IT'S HILARIOUS Edited November 30, 2007 by BALL-N-CHAIN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raptorgirl Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 We have a son that is almost 16 and USED to be a slob. Apparently he doesn't like having everything taken out of his room. So after taking all electronics including phone and cell phone privledges he got the hint. Now he's working toward a car and has to keep a 3.2 gpa or higher, so far it's stayed steady at 3.5. But my friend had somewhat of the sme problem with her daughter and even after taking most of her belongings they even took the bedroom door off the hinges she finally got the hint that they are tired of messing around with her. Good luck though, it seems like boys don't care about material things as much as girls and you may have to put the fear into him some other way. Plenty of times I have had to make it inconveinant for me in order to get my point across to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandBox_Kid Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I was in the same situation as you so I followed the state guide lines the first thing I did was remove all electronics such as T.V., Stereos ,phones ,game consoles. I locked it all up next thing put a keyd deadbolt lock on your bedroom, keep the only T.V., and phone in there. Next remove all of the non perishable food from the cupboards lock it up so only you have access to it now lock the refrigerator put in a small refrigerator in the garage stock it with bread baloney fruit and water. Laeve only 1 plate 1 glass 1 set of utensils. Next buy the cheapest soap shampoo and toothpaste money can buy. Last but not least remove everything I mean everything!!!!!!!!! from his room except his clothes and bedding even remove the door. Do not wash his clothes either!!!!!!!!!. YOU HAVE NOT VIOLATED STATE GUIDE LINES BY DOING THIS. This will really PI$$ him off but it will also show him that you will not let him take advantage of you. If he says anything about it tell him that this is all the state requires you to do and if he doesn't like it GET THE HELL OUT NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. This may seem drastic but children need to appreciate how much their parents do for them. GOOD LUCK I agree with sandassassin. All good stuff there. Especially the plate, bowl, glass and utensils. Don't buy paper and plastic....he would just leave that chit around and get another for the next meal. This way he'll have to wash it out if he wants to prepare another meal....and don't forget the single pan to cook that Ramen in. I have also made some good $$$ replacing doors that parents have removed in the heat of the same thing you're doing. That seemed effective, and you could save yourself the $$$ by taking it down and storing it somewhere. Good luck..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sand chick Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 Send him to live with his twin for the next 6 months! No seriously when Michael was doing this same crap as it seems most teenage boys do these days, I took the door off of his bed room so he had no privacy, I gave him one full day to clean up his crap or I was going in with a trash bag and throwing everything away that was not picked up and evertime I found something on the floor after that I told him I would warn him once and throw it away as well! HA HA!! He thought I was bluffing!!!! Needless to say he was dumpster diving for his crap later that night and it worked for a while, but on occassion I still had to throw something away. Follow through! Follow through! Follow through! If you say your going to do it DO IT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertskyz Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I used to go in said contaminated area, put everything on a trash bag and throw iy away. If the bathroom was a mess, I would pick it all up and dump in the middle of her bed. Take away everything you pay for. Like Jodi said, Follow through and be consistent. Having raised 3 girls I know what you are talking about. It is difficult for kids these days with all the peer pressure, jobs, school and social life. At their age they have their own agenda. I think in their mind if they are making good grades and have a job they are doing their part. Jim if he goes to my school PM me. "Ve have Vays of making them talk" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
powerhouse Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 It's your house and you have every right to take control ! that's what I have been told by Metro . I came home the other night , one of the mentally infected teens [ hehe ] was sitting in my normal spot of the couch , so I ask her and her boyfriend to move down and of course she told me no ! But we all know that she moved ! after the "why do I have to move ? you sit over there ! so as I changed the movie she had been watching , and sitting in MY seat ! , she tells me "hey, I'm whatching that !! you can't just come home and change the eefing tv !! My point to the cute little story is , and I explaind it to her , is it's MY HOUSE it's MY TV with MY CABLE from MY MONEY !!! my boys also know that when that day comes , you know what day ! to make sure your job has a good Dental plan !! my wife gets run over , I do not... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandBox_Kid Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I guess I'm lucky when it comes to my spot on the couch. When I come in my son already asks if I want my spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My4DrGSR Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 What you're doing or trying to do sounds great, as do some of the other methods, but the key here is to FOLLOW THRU no matter what route you take. It doesn't matter how much you threaten to take away stuff or whatever if your kid already knows you won't follow thru with it, or they know you'll cave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAND~~SNAKE Posted December 1, 2007 Author Share Posted December 1, 2007 WOW....GREAT SUGGESTIONS...THANKS TO ALL FOR YOUR INPUT He had paid for most of every thing he has, clothes, shoes,bed, tv,stereo,cd's all electronics, cell phone, car insurance not much I can take from him other that his bedroom door. And to be honest I like that door between us, Its a great idea and I have throught of it before but if the door came off it would be me----------> <---------child. His car is a necessary for employment and transportation to school becuase he attends school out of his zone (due to previous behavior issues) May use the door as a last resort. And I can not throw him out..That is not an option. If I did that he would definitely quit school and not graduate work meaningless low paying jobs , And keep returning home for a warm place to stay and asking for handouts till the end of my days, or dead or in prison..once again all great ideas ......I will bump this back up later and let you now how it turned out.......unless I call one of you needing bail $$$$$$$$$$$$$ ..........THANKS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandBox_Kid Posted December 3, 2007 Share Posted December 3, 2007 I'll pitch in a hundy.....for bail that is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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