Raptor661 Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 To make a long story short me and the wife have been having alot of problems at home lately. I found out shes been talking to another guy on myspace for a while now and that they are more than just friends. Shes telling me she wants me to move out for a couple of weeks so we can go on a few dates and see what happens. I personally think its an excuse to get closer to this guy. I came home last night and all my sh*t was packed up and she had divorce papers ready. This morning she told me she wanted to talk it out and I said it was too late. Any suggestions anyone? Im kind of stuck on what to do right now b/c financially it would ruin me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Cheese Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 my friend just went through a similiar situation......but he knows his wife stepped out on him multiple times.... if that is the case for you, that is a judgement call. i personally know i couldnt live with the fact that infidelity had been committed in a marriage...but that is me if she's the one wantin to experiment, tell her to leave if you think the marriage is worth saving, then attempt it, if not, the cut and run....there's plenty of good quality women in bakersfield :freakin_nuts: j/k Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor661 Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 Well there wasnt anything sexually going on with her and him, so she says anyway. We split up for a while before and I was seeing someone else but we ended up getting back together. This time she emailed my ex-gf (from when we were split up) and then the ex told her we were still seeing eachother blah blah blah. I think its just an excuse to make me leave so she can get with this other guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kens Colors Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 If you are really asking for advice, my advice would be don't ask for it here. Hope things work out so you can be happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandBox_Kid Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 If you are really asking for advice, my advice would be don't ask for it here. Hope things work out so you can be happy. Great advice. :freakin_nuts: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dunefreak Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 I can't believe how some people get THAT wrapped up in a person on the internet. I think some people get disillusioned while looking at the moniter and think that it is some fantasy land on the other end. Then in real life they can't handle it. Sorry to hear that though. I'll gaurantee you one thing though...it won't last for them. Healthy relationships (whether it be just friends or more serious than that) can only be established IN PERSON. RC had some pretty good advice. I'd figure out a way to just go your separate ways. Life goes on and you'll find a way to get back on your feet in no time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Cheese Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Well there wasnt anything sexually going on with her and him, so she says anyway. Thats EXACTLY what my friend's whore of a wife told him too, when i knew for a fact that she had muliple sexual partners OUTSIDE the marriage, as a couple of them were my friends also.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor661 Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 Well this just caught me off guard. I know we have had alot of problems lately but the more im looking into this the more that I should have seen it coming. I guess this is what I get for trusting her...hah..oh well though. The hardest part for me is right now is the money part...if we split up im going to be paying 50% of my income to child support..right now im paying about 30%. Im just not sure what to do though. Ive cut off most of my friends to make my marriage work this time around and just dont really have anywhere to turn. :freakin_nuts: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My4DrGSR Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 If you cut off all friends for this then in my opinion it can't be good. However, i've been in a relationship where the guy convinced me to get away from my friends, and when i finally realized what a jerk he was and i left him, my friends were still there for me, even though i didn't think they would/should be. Call up an old friend, you might be pleasantly surprised. And next time around, you'll realize not to drift away from your good friends. You need them. You really need to hash this out with someone who knows you and not some strangers on DDR, but good luck to you whatever you decide to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor661 Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 You really need to hash this out with someone who knows you and not some strangers on DDR, but good luck to you whatever you decide to do. Yeah, I know what you guys are saying. Im just still caught off guard and not sure where to start. It really sucks though. Im mad/sad at the same time. Time to :freakin_nuts: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raptorgirl Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Well there wasnt anything sexually going on with her and him, so she says anyway. We split up for a while before and I was seeing someone else but we ended up getting back together. This time she emailed my ex-gf (from when we were split up) and then the ex told her we were still seeing eachother blah blah blah. I think its just an excuse to make me leave so she can get with this other guy. The bottom line is an affair is an affair! Whether it be sexual or emotional, especially with women. Sounds like she has stepped away from the marriage either way. My advice would be to get a good attorney and if you have proof such as emails or letters copy them and take them to an attorney. A friend of ours went through this recently and his wife thought she would be set for life, little did she know what she was in for. He got primary custody of the kids and she gets very little child support. Good luck!! But make sure your primary focus is the kid(s) they certainly don't deserve this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor661 Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 Yeah, Ive been through it before. Just not in this situation of the other one messing around. I cant afford a good attourney. Ive already paid over 7k in the last few years to fee's for my two daughters. Tough place to be though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dunelover Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Yeah, Ive been through it before. Just not in this situation of the other one messing around. I cant afford a good attourney. Ive already paid over 7k in the last few years to fee's for my two daughters. Tough place to be though. That really sucks to hear. IMO you need to follow the other guys advice and seek out help from people you know or professional.I hear you say alot about the $$$ it's gonna cost however as you already know it's not just about the $$ it cost but there's lil people in this too and your wife that you must have loved once or she wouldn't be your wife. Maybe if you sit and think about it you'll see that maybe spending some alone time with her will help you decide what needs to be done.The truth always comes out. You don't ever have too look for it so if she was or is cheating the truth will come out.Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indasand Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Call Dr. Phil...j/k I'd pack my chit and go live in my fith wheel... keep the kids your main priority!!!!!! good luck and chill out on the drinking while your going through this, (yea right Jack was my best friend in my last divorce...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor661 Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 Call Dr. Phil...j/k I'd pack my chit and go live in my fith wheel... keep the kids your main priority!!!!!! good luck and chill out on the drinking while your going through this, (yea right Jack was my best friend in my last divorce...) Dr. Phil was busy doing a show on gay parents so he said he didnt have time for me. Im a jager drinker so me and jack wont be spending time together. If I had a 5th wheel that would be a good idea! the closest I have is a tent trailer thats not paid for yet.....haha Ive always tried to make sure the kids were my main concern...hes the main reason why we got back together after we frist split up (and living on 300 bucks every two weeks really sucked). It killed me to see him growing up and not being there for him every day. In other bad news...my fav bar right around the corner from my house got robbed and shot up last night. I dont think anyone was hurt but the walls that got shot full of holes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 I think a lot of us have been through terrible times in a marriage/relationship. I could type pages on this but I won't. I do know, like others have said, make the kids the number one priority. I guess you could be the bigger person and at least talk to her and see what she has to say. A lot of the reply's were very accurate. I did hear a very good quote the other day, take it for what it's worth............"Don't let the hatred for your ex out weight the love for your kids"......Just a thought....good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Cheese Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 .Call up an old friend or show up to a Meet & Greet MA FACKA!!!!!! ill buy you a couple beers a PITCHCER!!! :shocked2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptor661 Posted February 19, 2008 Author Share Posted February 19, 2008 or show up to a Meet & Greet MA FACKA!!!!!! ill buy you a couple beers a PITCHCER!!! Tell me when the next one is! Ive had to work during the last two of them But next time :shocked2: :chug: + + = :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bgtrkjoe Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 GET OUT !!!!!! DONT LOOK BACK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EY3BA11 Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 If you cut off all friends for this then in my opinion it can't be good. However, i've been in a relationship where the guy convinced me to get away from my friends, and when i finally realized what a jerk he was and i left him, my friends were still there for me, even though i didn't think they would/should be. Call up an old friend, you might be pleasantly surprised. And next time around, you'll realize not to drift away from your good friends. You need them. You really need to hash this out with someone who knows you and not some strangers on DDR, but good luck to you whatever you decide to do. Can you go talk to Tacomama ... Raptor661 about your situation.. If you have seperated in the past and are seperating again then its likely things arent going to work out... Especially if she packed your stuff and already drew up the papers... I would look at it as a little fredom to find the one who is right for you... Now for a lil background.. I have been down this road of asking friends what should happen and for some reason what they recommend seems to come true.. haha.. however even though steveo and i joked about divorcing our wifes and i was really close, moved out for 6 months or so.. it brought me and my wife closer than we ever have.. I guess it depends on the situation. Personally if i was in your shoes i would grab my stuff that she had packed my toys and head for the hills to greener pastures Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Red Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 Time to pull up anchor and move on. .02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAXDOUT Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 (edited) TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT...I DONT KNOW YOU, BUT HERES WHAT I'D DO!!! Pack your/her sh*t and move on! Life is to short for that sh*t! If you cant walk away from something that disrespects you like that...then you are being walked on. Be strong, for your kids. I hope all works out for you, but seriously. MOVE THE fk ON. Im telling you like I told my own brother a while back. Good luck man. Be strong. As soon as you find yourself, you will be able to meet a woman that will tread you right. But be careful, weakness brings predators. MAN UP>>>you will do just fine. Plus having a couple beers with the boys doesn't hurt either. Edited February 20, 2008 by maxdout Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sandassassin Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 VERY SORRY ABOUT YOUR SITUATION BUT THERE ARE THREE VERY IMPORTANT THINGS YOU MUST REMEMBER. #1. THE KIDS MUST BE YOUR FIRST PRIORTY THEY WILL NEED YOU NOW MORE THAN EVER!!!!!!!! #2. THE LONGER YOU STAY AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS THE MORE SHE WILL USE & ABUSE YOU. #3. NO MATTER WHAT THE FINANCIAL BURDEN IS YOUR PHYSICAL, SPIRITUAL, MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL WELLBEING IS PRICELESS. GOOD LUCK HOPE THIS HELPS YOU IN SOME SMALL WAY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DuNePrEd Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 dirty laundry all over the neighbors house is not good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Edgy Posted February 20, 2008 Share Posted February 20, 2008 What would you do?, problems at home I would not air my dirty laundry on a public forum to begin with. Advice and opinions are like belly buttons.....everyone has one. IMO Just my worth! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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