What makes your marriage work?

[Free Agent]

It's our 2 year anniversary today.

Took my wife out to a really nice lunch.

She brought up why our marriage is working. That kinda talk is a BFD with girls,, so just shut up and listen when they bring it up.

No issues about sex, our budget is well under control,, common interests like duneing and boating,, but most of all we work as a team, and we answer each others opinions with;

"You might be right".

I think Pete the Dunefreak has a good set up,, but is way too bashfull to admit it.

I read others posts here and get the impression there are some awesome marriages on DDR.

It ain't easy,, but lots of good couples are making it work.

Untill my much younger wife and I hooked up, she never duned, off roaded. She never boat and wake boarded, went out dancing,, she never tow'd and backed a trailer,, RV'd, had a guy in her life that told her she was attractive and spent time, money and listened to her.

Ya gotta admit, suddenly duning from a life of doing nothing is a vast change of culture.

Anyone can offroad, but duning isn't for dummies,, it's a lifestyle, a culture that sand is in your blood.

We love duning and it's a big part of our family.

What makes your marriage work?:

Edited April 17, 2008 by yfzdad

[barefoot bob]

xanax and a pimp back hand

lol my freinds no im lying big time

god is on my side i am blessed

been married 9 years

together over 10 years

friends since 1987

3 kids

i adore her

being freinds was a plus in my book

only 2 big blow out type fights in 10+ years

never any infidelity

mine is 7 years younger than me

im happy

Edited April 17, 2008 by barefoot bob

[FNOFFROAD]

I think You pretty much summed it up! You have to work together and listen to one another, Also its really important to be on the same page as far as your finances and goals that you might have,

I've been with my wife for over 11 years and married almost 6, Yes there's Ups and down's but if you respect one another you'll have a long happy marriage!

Good to see people like YFZdad and others on here really understand what it takes to make it work!!

[SandBox_Kid]

<--- lot's of this.

:drunk2: <--- and then this!! :jester2:

j/k

A good friendship has been our secret. Almost 21 years married coming up.

A sense of humor doesn't hurt either.

[80grit]

How to make your marriage work

A husband only needs to be:

1. a friend 



2. a companion 



3. a lover 



4. a brother 



5. a father 



6. a master 


7. a chef 



8. an electrician 



9. a carpenter 



10. a plumber 



11. a mechanic 



12. a decorator 



13. a stylist 



14. a sexologist 



15. a gynecologist 



16. a psychologist 



17. a pest exterminator 



18. a psychiatrist 



19. a healer 



20. a good listener 



21. an organizer 


22. a good father 



23. very clean 



24. sympathetic 


25. athletic 



26. warm 



27. attentive 



28. gallant 



29. intelligent 



30. funny 



31. creative 


32. tender 



33. strong 



34. understanding 



35. tolerant 



36. prudent 



37. ambitious 



38. capable 


39. courageous 



40. determined 



41. true 


42. dependable 



43. passionate 



44. compassionate 



WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 



45. give her compliments regularly 



46. love shopping 



47. be honest 



48. be very rich 



49. not stress her out 



50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

52. give her lots of time, especially time for 
herself

53. give her lots of space, never worrying about 
where she goes


IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 



54. Never to forget: 

* birthdays 

* anniversaries 

* arrangements she makes 









A Wife needs to :



1. Show up naked

2. Bring food

[dunefreak]

She brought up why our marriage is working. That kinda talk is a BFD with girls,, so just shut up and listen when they bring it up.

So then why are you bringing it up now? Should we just shut up and listen?

I think Pete the Dunefreak has a good set up,, but is way too bashfull to admit it.

:jester2:

I'm not too bashfull to admit I know I "have a good setup".

I heard this from an old couple at my buddy's wedding a while back. They had been together for over 50 years and were probably in their 80's. They said you can never lose respect for the other person. The minute you do, its all over.

[barefoot bob]

i was told find someone that is as f*cked up in the head as you are and settle down

[SandSoulja]

My wife and I have only been married since august. we've been together for almost 3 years.

like yfzdad. she had never been duning or to the river or anything like that before. And she absolutely loves it.

we've been raised to VERY different ways, but we both completely understand the other one...

Bottom line is...we LOVE, TRUST, RESPECT, and COUNT on echother everyday.

and we have a new baby with us now...

And this might be the icing on the cake. we both feel equally responsible to show our daughter how to love somebody, and find somebody who will respect her...and to make sure she understands the importance of marriage...and to NEVER marry a guy who can't ride...

[britincali]

I just had my 10 year anniversary last month, anyone that tells you its easy is full of sh*t, anyone that tells you it gets easier is full of sh*t, anyone tells you they never argue is full of sh*t.

I was told something years ago by an old sage that is completly 100% true and is always in the back of my mind especially when arguing, he said "son three thirds of women are nuts", it took me awhile to work this out but so far its been the best advice ever

[desertrider71]

The secret to my marriage was

DIVORCE

It's sadly true

Edited April 17, 2008 by desertrider71

[Guest Crasher]

I think the key is obviously communication, trust and respect. I you lose any of those, you have bigger problems. Another "must" is enjoying the same things in life. It would suck if you were with someone who did not like the same things in life that you do. It limits your time together. You have to do what makes you happy, and thank goodness I have someone that likes to spend time the same way I do. Craig and I are going on one year of marriage next week, and it was the best decision I ever made saying "I do". We have the same weird sense of humor too, that's the icing on the cake!! :6pak:

[indasand]

Budweiser and a light switch

:6pak:

j/k

[DarbyCrash]

I don't know what works, but I can give some ideas on what doesn't. (2 times divorced)

Don't marry for love.

Don't marry for money.

Don't marry because your going to be a mom/dad.

Don't marry somebody thinking that you can "fix" them.

Don't marry an alcoholic.

Don't marry when your in the service.

Don't marry her because she/he is "hot"

Don't marry for good sex.

Don't marry somebody who has a controlling mother.

Don't marry because your afraid of bieng alone.

Don't marry someone who doesn't enjoy the same things you do.

Don't marry somebody who hasn't already "soiled their oats" ie: slept around.

Don't marry your "mother/father" remember, you moved out to get away from them.

There is so much more. I'm sure the other "not so lucky on the 1st try" people can add.

A few words from my old man (3 times married) "Marriage is like a business each person has responsibilities and if they drop the ball it hurts the business. You must decide who is in charge of each part of the business and refer to the board of directors when changes need to be put in place. All decisions must be made together and each member has an equal say so. Never belittle your business partner and always treat them with respect and work as a team. Admit when your wrong and apologize." Oh and "yes dear" goes a long way.

And some words from an old guy (about 90) I met at a bar when I was 21. :6pak: "Son, after a certain age, it starts to smell bad"

[powerhouse]

My Wife = me out , I am a party animal , she is not .

I do exstreme things , and she does not . We both share the same love and respect for each other , as well as our 4 kids !

BUT < KEEP YOUR PIMP HAND STRONG !

[britincali]

My pimp hand withered and fell off around year 4 :6pak:

[SandBox_Kid]

I just had my 10 year anniversary last month, anyone that tells you its easy is full of sh*t, anyone that tells you it gets easier is full of sh*t, anyone tells you they never argue is full of sh*t.

I was told something years ago by an old sage that is completly 100% true and is always in the back of my mind especially when arguing, he said "son three thirds of women are nuts", it took me awhile to work this out but so far its been the best advice ever :6pak:

It does get easier, and no I'm not full of chit. I'm not saying a marriage doesn't need to be worked at constantly, but you have to pick and choose your battles. Not everything is worth fighting for, or over. If you think about it most of the worst arguements start over the most stupid and insignificant things.

My marriage started out as a great friendship, and love blossomed from that. I think that is why it has worked for 20+ years.....and I'm not even 40 yet. We married young and made it work. We didn't marry because of kids or anything like that either.....we just knew we were made for each other.

Friends have a lot in common. Friends respect each other. Friends communicate and trust each other. I think when marriage comes from friends that fall in love it seems to last. I also think Craig&Tiff, Pete&Anna, and a few other couples that I have met here and had time to observe are in that same boat. I expect good things from those relationships......and you never know......I could be completely off, or right on. That's the way it goes with "cats and dogs."

[EY3BA11]

My Wife = me out , I am a party animal , she is not .

I do exstreme things , and she does not . We both share the same love and respect for each other , as well as our 4 kids !

BUT < KEEP YOUR PIMP HAND STRONG !

im in the same situation as this guy..

I party she goes to church

I drink she stays home

I ride bikes shes scared she will get hurt and doesnt want to try

Yup bout the only thing in common is we both enjoy the time we spend together...

[Warrior07]

:6pak:

[wingnut]

My Wife = me out , I am a party animal , she is not .

I do exstreme things , and she does not . We both share the same love and respect for each other , as well as our 4 kids !

BUT < KEEP YOUR PIMP HAND STRONG !

And you rock your hair mullet style, she does not. You cut the sleeves of your shirts, she does not. Sorry bro, I had to!!!! :6pak:

[Warrior07]

Oh yeah now i know YOU HAVE TO BE A MAN BIOTCH !!!

:6pak:

[WHIZ]

The secret to my marriage was

DIVORCE :6pak:

It's sadly true

I have nothing worth adding to this post!! - I have nothing worth adding to this post!! - x2

No Seriously two divorces later and I'm happier then I've ever been!

[deuce]

For the most part this is a great topic for me. I am actually getting married this Sunday. So seeing all the advice and do's and dont's I should be able to make this work for a while. :6pak:

[DarbyCrash]

For the most part this is a great topic for me. I am actually getting married this Sunday. So seeing all the advice and do's and dont's I should be able to make this work for a while. :6pak:

Sorry to hear that. I mean, Congratulations (sucker) jk.

Best wishes

[dinicolady]

Good question!! Lots of good answers too, but one size definately does not fit all. What works for some, may not work for all. There are obvious common threads in this thread, and I agree with most.

only 2 big blow out type fights in 10+ years

never any infidelity

Only 1 "blow out" type fight in this roller rink and we're approaching 15 years married, 18 together!! Don't get me wrong, we do piss eachother off occasionally, but we never made a habit out of arguing "over the most stupid and insignificant things."

No infidelity here either, but we do have an ongoing joke about my boyfriend or his girlfriend......like when I find a long blonde hair on his clothing.

A good friendship has been our secret. Almost 21 years married coming up. :6pak:

A sense of humor doesn't hurt either.

Yep yep yep!! We share a solid friendship also. <Congrats on the big 2~1 there Gerald!!>

We know how to make eachother laugh.

Bottom line is...we LOVE, TRUST, RESPECT, and COUNT on echother everyday.

and we have a new baby with us now...

And this might be the icing on the cake.

Important words right there!! All marriages should have that foundation. Ours sure does!

IMO, I think having a child(ren) can increase the bond between a couple. Like you said, the 'icing'.

(Again, ONE size does NOT fit all, and babies should not be conceived to save a marriage.)

I think we fit the definition of "soul mates". The 24th of this month marks our 15th wedding anniversary.

Sounds longer than it feels.

[deuce]

Sorry to hear that. I mean, Congratulations :6pak: (sucker) jk.

Best wishes

Ha ha, thanks for the congrats, I think. I am a Real Estate Appraiser, she is a Teacher. This was the only way to get health insurance without spending a fortune.